Greetings and Happy, Gentle, Peace-Filled Holidays, to all!
Another year has seriously flown by! So fast, right?
This year for me, flying by, has been about experiencing so much of everything – fun, grief, heartache, revelation, evolution, manifestation and then some. Whew, I am a master at feeling and understanding emotions. Lots of movement. Lots of shifting. Lots of energy.
Emotions are just that: E Motion = Energy in Motion.
So when you’re feeling a negative, lower, uncomfortable emotion like grief, there’s definite energy, but not the kind that feels good and refreshing. But we’ve got to embrace the heck out of the yuckier uncomfortable ones, too! It’s called being Human.
When you’re going through painful emotional stuff, some days can feel like a slow death. I read and heard throughout the past two years that I’ll come out of this in a completely different and better place. At the time, when you’re in it, you think that’s all a big load of BS.
But folks, I’m telling you. It is the truth. You don’t know when you’re going through it. That kind of hell cannot possibly yield anything good. So many swirling thoughts about everything consume you and can easily swallow you up.
None of 2023 has been easy. But I can honestly and clearly say, it WAS all worth it. Yep, you heard me. SO WORTH IT!!
So for all of you getting ready to make big-ass life decisions and changes and are freaking out over how awful you’ll feel, yes, you will feel it. It is awful. And you just need to ride it out. Ride out the storm. Feel it all. In every way. Because seriously. At the end, it’s a whole new world.
So why is this end-of-year note called “Crumbs”?
When I first thought of that subject, Crumbs, to me, meant accepting and settling for the crap people hand you…..and that you accept. You accept the minimum. You accept less than any decent person should have to deal with. You accept the Crumbs, because those Crumbs equal some measurement of attention. You crave the attention. The Crumbs you settle for equals how you feel about yourself. Not a whole lot, but it’s something.
My whole life has been about accepting these types of Crumbs. My whole life. Every choice I’ve made. I had experiences that were Crumbs. I tried to fit in with people who gave me these Crumbs. I gladly took them. I tried to be liked and loved and accepted by the Crumb-Givers. Getting the Crumbs meant I was part of something bigger and I wanted to belong to something big. And fun. I took the Crumbs. I silently just took them.
Those Crumbs are not sustainable.
I won’t bore you with the intense details of my inner journey (but please always feel free to ask me privately and I will gladly provide an eye-opening, deep convo and introspective with you!), but I will never ever accept those kind of Crumbs again. In fact, I am slowly and gently letting go of those Crumbs. That Crumb mentality no longer fits into my world.
The Crumbs I now am drawn to, however, are the ones that I draw in. The ones I pick and manifest. The Crumbs of an idea that inspire me to action or a new thought. The Crumbs of wise words from someone I cross paths with and have a brief encounter. The Crumbs of love and kindness from a passerby. The Crumbs of a sweet note letting me know I’m thought of.
Now those Crumbs are priceless and special. They are a moment in time. A moment in my day. They come and go. And when they happen and I witness them, a burst of appreciation shoots out from me. Because I know THAT Crumb is an answer to my asking. My envisioning. My manifesting come to fruition. My creation.
I’ll take those Crumbs any day. Those Crumbs always fit into my life. They have a place.
The other Crumbs…………..I just never fit into those Crumbs’ space and place. They weren’t for me. That’s why they could never truly last and be sustainable. That’s why things always felt a bit empty.
So, yes, it’s been a hell of a year. I am humbled and grateful for all the choices I’ve made and I regret nothing (I surely could have handled a few things better, but, I am Human). This past year especially, I don’t regret how I chose to show up for myself, how I asked for and received comfort from some dear ones, and how, with no anger or bitterness, I can move on from the stale Crumbs.
As I get ready to take my 64th spin around the sun, I am amazed at what Life has to offer us. I am excited. I am eager (simma down now!). I am clear. I am whole. I am ready.
I feel the best is yet to come. In career. In prosperity. In love. In health.
And it may come in Crumbs. Or it may just come as that big whoosh of a whole complete baked cake or loaf of bread. Either way, these Crumbs will, indeed, be the most delicious of my lifetime.
Happy Holidays. Happy New Year! Make it great. Create everything you desire. You’ve got this!
Authentically, and with love,
Lisa
P.S. – Best quote of 2023:
“Your future is not determined by your current or past abilities. Your future is determined by your capacity, and how much you’re willing to explore what you are capable of. And what you’re capable of is way beyond your current ability. – B. Castillo”