When you think about yourself, what’s the first thing that comes to your thought?
You think, “I am an awesome human being!” Or, “I am so happy!”. Or, “I am beautiful and attractive, and all the things!” Right?
If you said “right!”, then I say RIGHT ON!!! Why wouldn’t you just tell yourself all day, every day, how intelligent and wonderful and worthy and whole you are? Why would you think anything less?
On your own that IS, indeed, who you are. You were created worthy. There is no question about that. You cannot change that fact. You just are worthy. You were created with divine intelligence and access to it all. You have the same resources and the same smarts as anyone else. You are a gorgeous and delicious human being – child of this universe – created equal and whole and with love and IN Love.
Now, if you disagree, that is 100% your choice. Always your choice. We all get to choose how to think and what to believe. I find most don’t buy into this and have been told different stories about themselves by someone, anyone, they have had interaction with in their life. Their parents, their parent’s parents (who told their children), their teachers, their bosses or colleagues. Their husbands or wives, partners, or sisters or brothers. The media and movies. TV and commercials. Social media. OY don’t get me started with social media!
So, I bet you derive a feeling of happiness when someone tells you that you look good. Or if someone told you that you were smart because you got good grades. Or you were told how valued you were because you performed well on a task at work. Or even when someone told you they love you. You probably heard them and thought, “Yes, I am loved because they told me so”, or “I am worthy of this job because my boss validated me”, or “I am smart because my teacher told me I am the best one in class”.
We are never taught that WE are just intelligent, beautiful, or worthy on our own. We have learned that we need to hear another tell us so, in order to feel it.
It is such a convoluted mess of one’s brain to buy into that Kool Aid. That we need anything outside of ourselves to feel good. That we need outside validation in order to feel whole. That we need to hear someone’s words before we can show up in the world. Seriously messed up.
When I was growing up, and I’m not sure where exactly I learned this, but I often asked family and friends if what I was thinking was right? (So weird!) “Hey, I think I should apply for that job, what do you think?” Fast forward to when I first started singing and performing on stage, and I would be literally crushed if no one came up to me and told me how good I sounded. And you know what? No one did!!! No wonder I had weak people around me? I was weak and needed another to tell me that I was worthy and whole and good enough. We certainly attract EXACTLY what we give off, 100%! Really? I had to ask for someone else to validate that my own thinking was correct, or my singing was good?
Women do that a lot today when they ask their partners or friends “how do I look” after they’ve gotten dressed in an outfit and are getting ready to go out. “Does this look ok?” I know a lot of men who are afraid to tell the truth because their women will get SO offended if they tell the truth and say, no I really don’t like that. Damn!! WE get to choose for ourselves what looks good to us AND decide that we are going to work how we look LIKE A BOSS!!!!!
In 4th grade, I remember I got to pick my own clothes. I had my most favorite outfit ever – bright purple bell-bottomed jeans with black pockets in front and back and I wore my most favorite Danskin leotard which was light pink with white flowers all over it. Seriously? Even thinking about it, it was god awful!!! But I got to choose what I wanted to wear and I did wear it often until some friend or adult (I forget who) told me how nothing about the outfit matched. I wore that in absolute Joy until another decided to let me know they didn’t like it. So, I did not feel “embarrassed” or “unsure” until someone said something to me and then I had a thought about what they said and believed them! Crushed me and changed my way of living because from then on, I always second guessed or questioned another on my outfit and if it looked good enough? See how messed up that is??
When I look back, I realize I HAD to experience EXACTLY what I did to get to where I am now and feel how I feel about myself. I went through so much pain growing up trying to figure out who I was. I got so off track with believing what others said about me and to me, and it took years for me to discover ME and feel comfortable in my own skin.
At least growing up in church, I was taught about my beautiful, personal relationship with God, my Source, my Father Mother. I learned how to commune quietly with God – just God and I – and I received perfect guidance and inspiration……….for me. (It was perfect, but I surely did not always listen.) I am grateful that, at least in that part of my life, I never experienced another telling me what to do or what God thought of me and what God was saying to me. I got to have my own, most personal, one-on-one relationship with what I believe, is the most powerful guidance there is. That is, still today, how I live and what I believe. Undoubtedly. Most of the world today is governed by what they are told is right rather than thinking for themselves and living to THEIR highest sense of right on their own. To each their own.
Unfortunately in this life, unless you are blessed with the most evolved and aligned human beings in the world while growing up, someone at some time told you things you believed and that’s when your mind got shaped into living tons of false BS beliefs about yourself.
This is a big thing to admit to yourself……that you live this way. But, think about it. Do you make your decisions solely on what YOUR brain tells you most of the time? Are you confident in YOUR choices AND self-confident that no matter what the outcome, YOU have your OWN back and will learn and grow. When we rely on anything outside of ourselves, we become so darn stunted in our own growth. We have these AMAZING Brains that can guide us, if we know how to manage our thoughts and not live in default, low-functioning mode. We are capable individually, I believe, in so much more for ourselves.
If you struggle with feeling unworthy, unloved, not beautiful, not validated, and less than 100% whole, I can help. I can teach you about confidence and self-confidence (two very different feelings) and how showing up for yourself as yourself is an AMAZING superpower and skill that you can learn with just changing a thought….a belief. What I am here to do is show you how your thoughts, our thoughts, typically do nothing to support us. Our thoughts, in fact, try very hard to keep us safe and in survivor mode. Our thoughts are mostly big BS stories we tell ourselves and have not one bit of fact to them.
Look, no one is perfectly confident 100% of the time every single day. We all question, and ponder, and grapple and discuss with those other, hopefully, super intelligent, high-vibing individuals we do life with. BUT I’m here to tell you, you have EVERYTHING inside of yourself RIGHT NOW to grow and learn and evolve and get everything you want in your life WITHOUT anyone telling you what to do and all the beautiful things you don’t tell yourself. Believing who you are from an outside source is short-lived, temporary and will implode big time.
YOU get to make long-lasting changes that soothe and support you. YOU get to choose your path and think your thoughts and YOU get to pick yourself up with confidence and love when you fail.
I am here to help you and teach you some amazing skills. Email me today to set up a time for coaching that will catapult you to a new, higher level of living your amazing life!
With authentic love, Lisa XOXO
#lifecoaching #InCourage #self-confidence #thinkforyourself #selfworth #life coach